Jamie Laguette-Stevens.my cousin

My dear cousin, Jaime you were such an amazing woman, wife, daughter, sister, cousin, and friend.

This past Friday, my cousin passed away of cancer after 1 1/2 years of fighting this horrible disease.  She was a fighter until the very end and never lost hope-EVER.  She would constantly post on her Facebook for all to see that she was a cancer warrior and that she would beat this with the support of her family and friends. KATNER (Kickin' Ass, Takin' Names, Repeat)

One day last October it hit me how angry, sad, upset and just downright mad I was that the Lord would allow such a horrible disease to enter my cousin's body at such a young age.  I wrote to her, because I knew the words that I had intended to tell her, would not be able to make it out of my mouth without bursting into tears.  I told Jaime everything that I had been feeling for the days leading up to that moment, what my fondest memories were of her, and us, and our families.  I told her how amazing, inspirational, beautiful, and funny she was...how I had always remembered her to be since we were young.  I guess you could say I laid everything out on the table...and I'm glad I did...not just because I got to tell her everything I wanted her to know, but because I didn't get a chance to say goodbye.

Because I feel compelled...below are the words she wrote back to me and I will hold near and dear in my heart forever.  You can see the absolute determination and drive she had to beat her cancer, and that's just sheer fearlessness on her part to have such an awe-inspiring spirit everyday of her courageous fight.

Jaime Laguette-Stevens October 3, 2009 at 10:47am

Dear Natalie,

Words cannot begin to express how much your email means to me - it brought tears to my eyes. It is one of the nicest, most thoughtful, caring emails I have ever received, thank you. The feelings are definitely mutual and I think about you all the time. I love seeing your updates on facebook and it makes me SO happy to see you SO happy.

I completely understand your reactions and I would never fault you for that. I know that I am in your thoughts and prayers and that's all I could ever ask for. I am very open about my cancer journey so please never hesitate to ask me anything or feel vulnerable.

I too get upset about why I have this ugly disease, but one thing I realize is I cannot question why. I just have to keep my head held high and know that this too shall pass, as difficult as it is. I honestly believe that God put this challege in front of me for me to accomplish so that I could be the strength and inspiration for all others out there living with cancer or yet to be diagnosed. You rarely hear about the survivor stories and there are SO many. I know I will be a survivor so in the meantime, I am fighting with all that I have!!

As I write this, I am astonished with how well I feel physically, mentally and emotionally all things considering and that's all I can ask for. I am a human being LIVING with cancer who will BEAT it!!

Thank you again for your email and very kind words. I hope we can all get together again soon!

I love you,
Jaime

I love you my dear cousin.  You fought hard, really hard...and even though you have parted ways with your loved ones and friends we will all meet you again in the most precious place, Heaven.